The Orchid Graveyard

Halloween seems to be an appropriate time to admit that I’ve killed a few Draculas.

I’ve tried growing D. vampira and D. bella, to name a couple. They’re such cool plants! But they require high humidity and shouldn’t be allowed to dry out, according to the American Orchid Society. I’m not vigilant enough to guarantee that.

As I was putting the Halloween decorations up, I couldn’t resist arranging this photo, which will no doubt prompt laughs from orchid growers and puzzled shrugs from everyone else.

When you purchase an orchid, you need to keep the little plastic stake that typically comes with it, on which the plant’s name and other identifying information is printed.

Almost every orchid lover I know keeps these ID tags – yes, even if the plant dies. At first, I assumed it’s because the tags are reusable. But blank tags are easy to come by.

You stash the proof of your failures in a plastic bag or a small container. You look through them wistfully once in a while, like photos of lost loves: ‘That was beautiful while it lasted…’

Maybe it’s confirmation that you tried your hardest. Maybe it’s a reminder of how much time and money you spend on these plants – and a nudge to curb that impulse in the future.

Whatever the reason, it’s a funny little habit and probably a silly one. Better to keep the plants, alive, I guess.