For many months, Google has listed me as a bookstore. A Google search for Chris Thomas Communications reveals a listing that includes the address of a mailbox I haven’t rented for years, and the photo you see here – a nondescript, unattractive parking lot.
I ask you – if you were looking for a bookstore, would YOU shop there?
I have tried many times to contact Google to explain I’m a writer, not a bookstore; this isn’t my address and I don’t have a storefront.
The best I've been able to do is report an address change. Now Google lists the business as “recorded closed at this location.”
Still, I receive multiple, daily calls from other businesses that have mined the Google data. They want me to try their credit-card processing services. They want to loan me tens of thousands of dollars! And they want to buy my business. Sometimes, I can't help but imagine the latter...
ME: “Okay, you can buy me for $150,000.” (Just a good, round number – as hard as it is to find a good writer and editor, I may be worth more.)
CALLER: “You'll have to fill out an application that lists your debts and assets. We can send that to you by email.”
ME: “Bring it on! My accountant has all that stuff. And where will I be living?”
CALLER: “Excuse me..?”
ME: “When you buy me, I’ll need to pack and move, right? So, where will I be going?”
I could continue this daydream, but I keep getting interrupted by phone calls from people with credit-card processing services I really need to consider…